Over 15 years ago I pioneered the organic to green indie beauty category as one of the first women-owned artisan brands. My first collection was so innovative and eco-conscious that it was exclusively launched by the celebrity-adored retailer, Fred Segal, in Los Angeles in 2009. From there I became an award-winning, organic beauty product creator and designer (Best of Allure, Forbes and Women’s Health, Martha Stewart), licensed (with 2 private wellness healing spas), featured in many of the industry’s top editorial magazines (Glamour, Well + Good, New Beauty, Refinery 29, Zoe Report, Allure, Cosmopolitan) and seen on television (Today, GMA, The Doctors, The View, QVC Germany, and HSE Italy).

I have contributed to and witnessed the evolution of beauty from green beauty to clean beauty to wellness and shared with my 275k followers on Instagram for over 15 years.

From the outside, my life looked “mostly” perfect. But internally I had been almost too strong all these years. Is that possible? I thought being a superwoman was a good thing. I thought I was so smart, that I had found my own ways to survive and cope. I wasn’t blaming anyone for my choices. I was just trying to keep everything under control. The chronic rashes episodes were a minor inconvenience. They started when I lost my best friend suddenly over 15 years ago. I was 28 then. But I was 41 and something had to give, after all, I was juggling being a brand founder and CEO, 5 kids, a marriage, and some past trauma –  but nothing a quick ER visit 2-3x a year for some steroid and cortisone shots couldn’t fix. Then one day, the inflammation and swelling were affecting my tongue and blocking my airway. I drove myself to the ER. I figured I’d be right back. A few shots and I’d home by bedtime. This was routine for me.

It was assumed I had a severe deadly allergic reaction. I did. After testing for every possible allergy, even testing for autoimmune, and cancer, the diagnosis was made. I was allergic to my life. I had to make a lifestyle change if I wanted to stay alive. I was living a life of daily stress and anxiety but this was normal for me. How could this be? I was a natural healer and very aware of healthy lifestyles – I knew about herbs and oils, plant medicines and cures, meditation, and even wellness spas.

For my entire adult life from 19 until now I had personally practiced meditation and astrology, and my professional life was all within beauty and wellness. I was an award-winning organic product creator. I understood herbs and plant cures. I was a published expert quoted for healthy lifestyle tips. So how could I be so “unwell”? I was a survivor. I was strong. I never gave up. Until it hit me.

I would have to slowly unravel everything in order to heal myself. Everything I thought I was doing to keep it under control, I had to let go. These habits were slowly but surely killing me. If I wanted to live I had to heal myself from within. I had to learn to be loving toward myself.

I hope you will join me on a journey to be inspired and learn self-loving.

XO
RL